A Diplomatic Dilemma. Who do we support now?

The tragic, early departure of the England team from the World Cup in Brazil leaves many British Ambassadors around the world with a tricky diplomatic dilemma. Who do they support now the England team has been knocked out?

For those Ambassadors in countries where the home team has qualified for the last 16, the answer is simple; you have to go with your host. For the rest of us we have to call on our years of diplomatic training and experience to help us make up our minds. Weighing up the possibilities, balancing carefully the pros and cons, evaluating the consequences, judging carefully how to avoid causing offence is what we do all day, applying these skills to knotty international problems. Surely therefore choosing a team to support is child’s play?

But it’s not that simple. There are so many factors to take into account. For example, do we go with European solidarity and give our support to Holland, Greece, Germany, France, Belgium or Switzerland? Possibly, yes. But personally, I find it very difficult to support Germany as they’ve so often knocked England out of tournaments in the past (usually on penalties). And I really don’t like the colour orange much, Switzerland aren’t actually a member of the European Union and I very much doubt that if they found themselves in our position – knocked out and looking for a team to support – many French fans would get behind England. Belgium? Perhaps. Greece? Against Costa Rica in the next round and current President of the European Union to boot. Hmm, maybe.

But what about Latin America? The UK has strong and growing relationships with lots of the Latin American countries still in the tournament and for me, as an Ambassador in a Spanish-speaking country, support to one of them might make diplomatic sense. For example we’ve got excellent relationships with Colombia, Chile, Mexico and Costa Rica (the new football superpower?). Our relationship with Argentina is a bit more problematic and the Maradona ‘Hand of God’ goal in 1986 still rankles (English fans have long memories). And I’m not sure I can bring myself to support Uruguay after they knocked us out. Perhaps Brazil, the hosts? Wouldn’t it be great to see them win again on home soil? Ah yes, but they don’t speak Spanish.

Who’s left? With the USA we have a ‘special relationship’ that goes back years. They speak our language and their match against Portugal was the most dramatic and thrilling of the group stage. It’s tempting to support Nigeria as they are the only team left from sub-Saharan Africa and further north, Algeria have qualified too. But they face Germany in the next round which will be tough.

Decisions, decisions….what do I go on? Old alliances? Shared culture? Most likely to win? Back the underdog? Toss a coin? Ask William Hague?

OK, here it is. After lots of reflection, I’ve got the answer. I’ve pondered this for hours, mulled it over and debated options. It’s been tough getting there, testing my diplomatic skills to the utmost. But this is what I do. I support Chile as they have a Cuban physiotherapist – the only Cuban in the competition but performing brilliantly so far, possibly the best physio in the tournament – and France as they make the best cheese (apart from Stilton). I know this is a split decision. It may look like sitting on the fence. But this hasn’t been easy. And I’m sure you’ll agree it’s the right diplomatic outcome. Decision made. Vamos la Roja! Allez les Bleus!