An Evolving Debate in Europe and America

Something I always dread happened the other day. A lunch guest bounced up to me enthusiastically and asked me how I felt about the President’s announcement.  I was uncharacteristically but completely nonplussed.  I’d been in back to back meetings all morning in Sacramento (hearing a rather different view from that of the Bay on economics and innovation in California) and hadn’t had a moment to check my blackberry (something that always makes me twitchy!) and so had no idea of the news of the morning – or, indeed, what I felt about it.  Bluffing – though tempting – is not a good option and so I had to profess my ignorance (and tried not to feel justified in my blackberry addiction which would usually prevent this kind of thing).

And so it was that I learned that the President had said he thinks same-sex couples should be able to get married.

It’s an interesting and complicated issue which many countries are working through and will be for some time.  In Europe, we have a whole range of approaches to the issue from no recognition of same-sex relationships, to recognition of civil unions, to complete marriage equality.  It’s understandable that there’s such a range of approaches – after all it was as recently as 2001 that same-sex marriages were first recognized anywhere in the world. And it’s not my place to have a view on how the US should approach the  issue.  But, as a gay woman, there’s no denying that it felt very cheery news.

Same-sex marriage is something that’s very much on our minds back in Britain.  In 2005 civil partnerships were first introduced by the previous Government.  But there’s an ongoing consultation on whether to introduce same sex marriage as well and it is causing something of a stir.  Not least because there’s a real prospect of it actually happening – only this week our Home Office said that it was committed to introducing same-sex civil marriage by the end of this Parliament.  (This means before a national election is called, which means in the next couple of years.)  In the midst of discussions about what it would mean for the country as a whole, Layla and I have been having slightly prosaic conversations about what we’d do personally. We had a fabulous civil partnership a couple of years ago and it was something of an extravaganza (or so it felt to me anyway).

There were family and friends, vows, rings, readings and speeches. There was cake and a first dance (the learning of which nearly killed me). There were presents and there were tears.  And it was followed by a glorious honeymoon in New York City (where, in fact, we first contemplated that perhaps we should be aspiring to live and work “somewhere like America”).  So in many ways it was very much like a traditional marriage ceremony. Under the proposals which the British Government is currently consulting on, we would be able to convert our civil partnership into a civil marriage.  But I suspect that we’d end up having a civil marriage ceremony, nonetheless. For us, if same-sex marriage does happen in Britain it will be such a statement about how far the debate has come in the UK that we’d feel that we should. At least until we remembered how much our civil partnership cost – and that we’ve both put on too much weight since then to fit into our old wedding attire…

In the meantime, it’s fascinating to watch the debate unfolding here.  And, of course, I’ve learnt to always check my blackberry before lunch…