21st March 2014 Madrid, Spain
Diplomacy, authenticity and epilepsy
Some caricature diplomacy as not being clear, avoiding hard messages, getting a deal at all costs. Worse, some see diplomats as evasive, slippery, cowardly, masters of ambiguity. In my experience the opposite is true.
The best diplomats are clear about what they want to achieve, but also understand the objectives of others. They will often use subtle methods, but above all they are honest, open, even courageous.
Authenticity is the key to successful diplomacy.
And so it is with how we work within our organisation, especially how we lead and manage each other. The best leaders and managers in my organisation, the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, are authentic. They actually do what they say others should do. They model behaviours and lead by example. They are honest about their objectives and do not shrink from delivering clear messages. They put themselves on the line.
This does not always feel comfortable. But leadership in particular is about going beyond your comfort zone. Comfy organisations with cosy cultures tend to stagnate.
I was recently diagnosed with epilepsy – following two “tonic-clonic” seizures towards the end of my last posting at the British Embassy in Bangkok. Alongside the practical challenges of finding a treatment that would manage the condition I found it took (and is still taking) me time to work out how it affects me as a person, and how I do my job. That brought me up against the question of authenticity in a way I had not expected.
Anything to do with your health is a private matter. But when it affects how you work (your hours, your desk, your mood) you are faced with the prospect of giving up some of that privacy to be fair to your colleagues and to be true to yourself.
I’ve found this a challenge. In the end I concluded that I could not do my job properly without being open about my circumstances. How could I be authentic if I did not tell those I worked with about something that is part of me, and which I cannot leave at home every morning?
As well as forcing me to confront the importance of authenticity, my recent experience should help me in other ways. The need to actively manage my condition has sharpened my awareness of my own behaviour (and its impact on others). The importance of properly planning my own work rhythm has, I think, made me more sensitive to signs of stress and overload in others. I think I better understand my own unconscious bias and spot it more readily around me.
Epilepsy has also prompted me to revisit some of my own attitudes to diversity in general, and to disability in particular. I’ve found myself challenging, and changing, some of my own assumptions about the perspectives of others. I’m sure that has developed me, personally and professionally.
Whether I turn any of this learning into actually being a better manager and leader is down to me and my performance. Having epilepsy hasn’t automatically made me better at my job. But it has given me some important insights into myself which I think will help me at work. And I have discovered a lot along the way: the policy framework, the responsibilities of employer and employee, the logic of Reasonable Adjustments, the importance of the Equalities Act.
I’ve been fortunate to work in an organisation that takes its welfare responsibilities seriously. It has given me excellent support as I have worked out my diagnosis and treatment. But the help I have received from the FCO also makes sense for the organisation. As John Amaechi (the first NBA player to come out as gay) said to the BBC earlier this year, an organisation that does not try to create an inclusive environment – where all can succeed – is actually simply stating that it does not want the best people.
The FCO is not a perfect employer. But I have tended to find such problems as I have encountered sit more with the attitudes of individuals rather than the systems in the organisation. Changing our culture (as we are gradually doing – including through a new disabled staff association, called “Enable” ) should help change the minds that need changing.
For a long time I was trying to “get back” to what I was before I was diagnosed. I was trying to package up my epilepsy into a little wooden box, tucked away in a corner where it wouldn’t be noticed; and where I could forget about it.
Actually what I needed to do was move forward as what I am. I’ve always been someone who had a career and who happened to have epilepsy too, I just didn’t know it. Clearly I’m better off with that knowledge and can live my professional and personal life accordingly, making the most of the positives alongside the other aspects. I’m conscious I have been lucky. Medication has helped keep me seizure-free for two years now. Many of the 65 million people who have epilepsy are not so fortunate.
Epilepsy does not define me. But it is an unavoidable part of me. I can’t pretend – to myself or to others – it is not there. So I am determined to ensure I draw any benefits I can out of it. And one of those has already been my better understanding the importance of authenticity – in my work, in my private life, in everything.
Sharing my experience is part of that process of being authentic. If reading this interests, or even helps, someone else that will be great. Writing it has certainly helped me.
You are doing great work by writing this blog, Daniel. Somebody at your level can achieve more in a few words than many of us. One can only hope that the insights you have provided to readers will permeate our sometimes difficult society. Good on you.
Richard.
Dear, thank you for your valuable blog.
I got many information from your post. Hope your success.
Thank you again
Today, 2.3 Million Americans live with epilepsy with more than 1 million of them experiencing uncontrolled seizures. CBDs (Cannabidiol) which are non-psychoactive have been proven to help reduce the frequency of these seizures.
Gevitta is working hard creating a legal CBD spray that is derived from HEMP. We are starting with a crowdfunding campaign set to launch shortly in order to raise the money needed for production as well as further studies on the effectiveness of CBDs on other diseases.
If you are interested in learning more about this amazing new product visit our site at http://www.gevitta.com/indiegogo
Dear Daniel ,
well, it ‘s finally just great to read not only yr. report and yr. courage plus honesty. I also wanna say “congratulations” to ALL the other comments and their honestly.
Looks to me , that it was highest time to write ’bout such sensitive things as any kind of illness.
Best wishes & stay healthy as long as possible to all of you.
(“You only learn of how precious health is if you were once sick /Gesundheit ist das höchste Gut…” German-saying)
Ingo-Steven, Stuttgart
Danny – an interesting and a brave blog, which shows you’ve got integrity as well as authenticity. Someone I respected a lot at the EHRC, who happened to have a very visible disability, taught me to see people with disabilities as colleagues first, with capabilities and personalities like everyone, and not to identify them with or by their disability. You put it brilliantly, “someone who had a career and who happened to have epilepsy too”. Great news that medication is keeping you seizure-free. And I agree with you about comfort zones and cosy cultures. Nicola
Great blog Danny. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is, as Wasim says, inspirational.
Daniel,
Thank you for this excellent blog. As someone with a non-visibile disability myself (dyslexia), I too have found it hard to know how much to share with my colleagues. However in recent years I have been far more open about my dyslexia and people have responded well. I think it’s about having
conversations where people can ask questions and you can tell them what it’s like for you to have the disability. You can then talk about what you can do and what you find harder and think about ways to adjust to it.
I also agree with Wasim that authenticity and vulnerability are key traits for good leaders. As Brene Brown notes in her TED talk ( http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability), sharing your experiences of difficultly might seem like you are opening yourself up to attack, but actually (if done right) it can strengthen you as a leader. After all everyone is struggling with something, even it’s not a defined disability.
I’d be interested to know how far you share details of your disability with your contacts outside the FCO (I guess fully now, with this blog!). I have to admit that I’m not quite ready to do that (partly becuase of the differening understanding of dyslexia accross different cultures), but your blog has inspired me to think again.
Dear Danny,
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It’s touching and given me plenty of food for thought, not least as a story of personal growth through unexpected and profound challenge. We can all learn from your resilience. On the policy and diplomacy front, I have always thought of you as one of our finest!
Gill
Dear Daniel
Great blog and thanks for sharing. I agree with you that being authentic and open are key leadership qualities. It is difficult to share issues that are personal and feel like vulnerabilities with an audience but doing so provides inspiration to others . Thanks.
Wasim
Danny, thank you for posting this honest, thoughtful blog. You are right to highlight the need to challenge our own perspectives and expectations. Openess or ‘authenticity’ can help us focus on what we – and those around us – can rather than can’t do. The London and Sochi Paralympic Games were a great illustration of this.
Dear Daniel
Great blog and thanks for sharing. I agree with you that being authentic and open are key leadership qualities. It is difficult to share issues that are personal and feel like vulnerabilities with an audience but doing so provides inspiration to others . Thanks.
Wasim
A colleague that I worked with when I first started in the FCO in December 1995 and later in Protocol Directorate in 2002-3 was diagnosed with epilepsy. He managed his condition as well as could be expected and had a moderately successful career at Band A and Band B including a number of overseas postings. However, between postings, he died at home in the UK following an epilepsy attack.
The Office needs to extend extra consideration to officers with epilepsy to ensure that there are warning systems in place to mitigate against attacks at vulnerable moments i.e. daily checks during periods of non-deployment where the officer does not have immediate family around them. The Office may not have been able to prevent this tragic loss of life but perhaps it could be more supportive where it can, putting additional safeguards in place. Perhaps these already exist and HRD M&W can take this opportunity to comment.
That said, the Office should be applauded in allowing the officer to pursue the career that he wanted without prejuduce against his condition.
Dear Daniel ,
to be honest : At the 1st. sight I was surprized by yr. headline. I mean : What has epilepsy in common with , I.e., diplomacy ?
After I ‘ve read yr. lines it was easy to understand (“tonic-clonic in Bangkok “). But isn ‘t such an illness a problem ONLY for the affected patient ?
Plus : I really can ‘t understand all these prejudices against diplomats. Esp. “slippery” and ” cowardly”. Don ‘t get me wrong : I don ‘t have sthg. against cariciatures or British sense of humour. (In fact, I like it very much !) But the above mentioned words are more as only 1 step too far .
It would be interesting to know from which kind of “paparazies “/reporters or mass medias such discriminating phrases were come from.
To conclude : In my opinion you gave the best answer in yr. own words.
“Authencity is the key”. So pls. let me just add : It ‘s also the key to all of us . In re. of success in private and job.
Best wishes & take care , liebe Grüßle ond a guats Wochaend, Ingo-Steven Stuttgart