One of the most stimulating aspects of working abroad is experiencing different cultures and traditions. Different religions, histories and languages produce different ways of handling both daily challenges and major events. There can be few greater events in a person’s life than marriage. So I was delighted to be invited to take part in a Jordanian “Jaha”, an engagement ceremony this weekend. The bride is Jordanian and the groom is British.
For my non-Jordanian readers, a “Jaha” is part of tribal tradition. The chief of one tribe approaches the chief of another to request the hand of a girl in marriage. The event has a wonderfully Jordanian combination of formal ceremony and informality about it. First, we (the bridegroom’s “tribe”: his friends, employer and other acquaintances) gathered at a roundabout in Amman and drove to the meeting venue. We entered and were seated opposite another group of men of all ages who represented the bride’s family. We were served coffee but we were not supposed to drink it yet. The groom’s tribal chief then rose and spoke eloquently about the bride and her family. Then the chief of the bride’s family gave an equally eloquent speech about the groom. He had to adjust the normal speech to cater for the fact that the groom is British. He stressed that Islam makes no difference between nationality. The important thing is the quality, virtues and “purity” of people. And they were happy to join with the groom’s family, and gave their blessings to the young couple. We then drank our coffee.
The groom then came in and was introduced to all the members of the bride’s clan. He invited me to speak, my first short speech in Arabic in Jordan. I said that I was honoured to attend the event and celebrate the union between a Jordanian and a Brit. And I wished them every happiness, peace and love. Then I chatted to some of the men, drank some more coffee and ate some delicious Kunafeh. We then departed and wished everybody well. It was a fascinating and enjoyable experience.
Diplomacy is all about building relationships and bringing people together. Unlike marriage, it is rarely based on true love and more often on shared interests, mutual respect and co-operation. I look forward to building on the understanding of the shared interests of the UK and Jordan – a relationship founded on mutual respect between our peoples. And I wish our soon-to-be-wed friends a happy and fruitful life.