Why We Should Celebrate the Freedom to Be Ourselves

On a Saturday evening in June 2012, as my wife and I stood in our kitchen, the peace was shattered (literally) by a bottle thrown from the street, which broke our window. It was quite a shock. A man was arrested, spent a night in a police cell and has now been fined 1000 BGN.

Why did he do it? Because he objected to the fact that we had the rainbow flag, supporting acceptance of homosexuality, flying in front of the Residence. That simple message – that we should be free to be who we are – offended him so much that he felt the need to make a violent response.

Unfortunately, it is not just the Residence windows that are at threat. The situation has vastly improved from the early days, when there were more police than participants, but there are still reports of violence after each Pride festival.

Most Bulgarians would, of course, condemn any such violence. But at the same time, when I talk to Bulgarian friends and colleagues, I do not often hear support for the marchers. Usually I hear instead the sentiment that it is ok for people to be gay in private, but that they should not march about it and “flaunt it”.

I believe this is a dangerous sentiment. It is not good enough to state that people should not be criminalised or persecuted for being gay. In demanding people keep their sexuality private, those voices are saying that people should keep secret who they really are.

This can be profoundly damaging to individuals. I have gay friends who are lucky enough to have grown up amongst loving, supportive families and friends. They felt able to be open about their sexuality without fear that it would alienate those closest to them.

But I also have friends who felt great pressure not to be open and who worried that doing so would mean losing relationships that were of great importance to them. I know people who have struggled with their sexuality, unsure and troubled during their adolescence and early adulthood, frightened by the consequences of their feelings, and so burying them.

And it is also profoundly damaging to society. Because if we say that it’s ok to be who we are, but only in private, we are tacitly endorsing and encouraging those who actively discriminate and bully. We allow an extreme to speak for the majority of decent people.

Think about this. How many of your family and friends are openly gay? How many people in your workplace are openly gay? If the answer is zero, then either Bulgaria is an exception to every other country in the world. Or a number of your friends and colleagues may be unhappily living a false life. Is that right? What can you do to change that?

Like other countries, the UK is proud to support Pride this year. We do not impose our ideas or values. We simply turn up to the parade to show our solidarity. I hope to see you there.

This year, as before, the rainbow flag will fly at my Residence.  Far from being put off by the bottle-throwing thug, last year we conducted a civil partnership of two Britons at the Residence. In that, I truly take pride.