Identity is complicated. As a British-Indian representing the UK overseas I had spent more time spelling my name than talking about gender. But that changed in 2011 when I became the first female British Consul General to San Francisco.
A year later, I had the privilege of joining some of the brightest young Americans at the Marshall Scholarship’s annual alumni meeting at Stanford University. Like Rhodes or Gates, the Marshall Scholarship – a gift from the people of Great Britain to recognize the USA’s intervention in World War II – allows US graduate students to study for their Masters or Doctorate in the UK.
Everyone at that alumni meet had survived the rigorous selection process and had amazing prospects ahead. So I was floored when the discussion among the female 20-somethings turned to the choice they would have to make between a career and a family. Anne-Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic article ‘Why Women Still Can’t Have It All’ had been published that same month.
For the first few years of my job here, I felt Slaughter had a lot to answer for, but her recent book ‘Unfinished Business’ sets out a much more nuanced perspective about challenges women face. I’ve become quite a fan.
In Silicon Valley, the heart of technology, gender is a much-debated subject. The American Association of University Women published a report in March which was stark reading: Only 12% of engineers are women, and the number of women in computing has fallen from 35% in 1990 to 26% today.
In the UK, the stats are just as bad. According to Women in Science and Engineering – an organization whose goal is to get 1 million more women into STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) – women make up only 12.8% of the STEM workforce.
Diplomacy performs only marginally better. This year the British Parliament rightly criticized the UK’s Diplomatic Service for failing to bring more women into the senior ranks. Only 19% of the top two senior grades are women. There are only 36 female Heads of Mission overseas.
Why does the gender gap matter? Aside from believing equality is a fundamental right, it matters economically.
In the UK, it’s estimated that increasing the female participation in the UK labour market could be worth 1.3-2.0% of GDP. In the US, a seed investor First Round concluded that companies with at least one female founder performed 63% better than similar investments with all male founding teams.
At the micro level, focusing on gender has reaped rewards for my work. Renowned Silicon Valley thought leader (and Marshall Scholar) Reid Hoffman talks in his latest book about the relevance of networks. Maybe as a counter-reaction to the gender gap, I believe that theory is strengthened for women’s networks.
I have had access to an incredible network of successful, inspirational women in Silicon Valley, very advantageous for the UK. We worked with svc2uk’s Sherry Coutu and her team to bring the first all-female trade mission to Silicon Valley. (Of note, the mission companies had an average growth rate of 300%.) For the entrepreneurs, the experience was transformational. Back in the UK these success stories inspire more women and girls to see entrepreneurship as a viable career.
Networks are valuable inside organizations as well. For the third year running, I’m co-facilitating female-only peer group learning sets that include women from across the British Government’s US Network. Of course issues aren’t only felt by one gender, but I have come to realize concerns particularly felt by women – lacking self-confidence, needing to please, building a presence – can be best addressed in a safe forum with other women.
The British Parliament notes that a barrier to women’s progression in the UK Diplomatic Service is lack of self-confidence and viewing Ambassadorial roles as male jobs. I don’t disagree. The image of men in pinstriped suits sitting in smoke-filled rooms running the world will take decades to be etched from our memory.
In my case, it sometimes feels a bit daunting to be both a representative for my country and a mum of two young boys. In a role where gender has become part of the conversation, I’m often asked how I ‘have it all’. There are many responses, not least that I have a fantastic team at work and a great husband at home. But my core answer is that we need to stop being our own worst critics.
It’s not realistic to expect to be a star in the workplace, a maestro in the kitchen and a dab hand with an iron! We need to stop beating ourselves up for missing bedtime when we’re packing to get on a plane for the next work trip. Instead, just enjoy every moment we’re together with loved ones (and don’t be on an electronic device at the same time!).
In the workplace, accepting that you can’t please everyone is tough – particularly when unconscious bias becomes more acute as you rise through an organization. A support network can be transformational. Finding a role model can make your aspirations feel more real. I’ve struggled to find role models in my organization who are ‘like me’. Instead, I take elements from a series of people I admire for different reasons. It’s working so far.
In the corridor outside my office there is a solemn black-and-white photograph of each of my predecessors, going back to the first appointee Mr. James A Forbes back in 1844. Next year, there’ll be one more: a color photo of a woman. Maybe I’ll also smile.